thatLman.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
- C.S. Lewis

My dear ones.

When she won her Americorp award, we all felt like we won it
When she hurt her ankle a week before the Nutcracker, we all were wounded
When she finished her thesis, we all were relieved
When she tucked her top lip in, we all followed
When she lost her hair, we all felt bald
When she danced, we all performed in the seats
When she became a teacher, we all learned
When she acted younger, we were all ten all over again.

Really, I did.

I had something I truly wanted to write about...But, now nothing comes to mind.

Her man.

I made him. His name is Herman Oliver. Nice to meet you

Workin' hard for the money.

I want to live here.

“My dearest friend, if you don’t mind, I’d like to join you by your side. Where we can gaze into the stars, and sit together, now and forever. For it is plain as anyone can see, we’re simply meant to be.” _Nightmare Before Christmas


If this doesn't scare you I'm out of things that will.

Toolong.

I haven't journaled in forever.
I can't find my cool Egyptian book.
great.

And they all left but me.

I was the one who wanted to leave more than anything.
They were the ones that left.


I miss each one of you so much. (Andrew, Madeline,the boy, Mallory M., Erin, Haleigh). Really.
Even when we reunite it will be wondeful, but it won't be the same.
I miss all the memories. And I keep revisiting them. I need to move on. I need to wish you guys luck. I need to live where I am. Now.
I want us to all be near, but that might not ever occur again.
One thing I think I'm learning is how to be grateful in that very moment.
Learning to be thankful in the present. For, the thing you are thankful for might never be there again. Or in the same way.

Here I go:
Andrew,
I hope that your heart gets full of love, patience, and kindness.
I hope you use your hands to serve.
I hope that you inspire and change people's life.
I hope you see Jesus in the least of these.
I hope your eyes will always be focused on God.
I hope you will meet many people from all different cultures.
I hope you allow yourself to learn from every person you meet.
I hope that you will not feel bitter or defeated when you think about the very memories that hurt you and created wounds.
I hope you become friends with people who don't look like they would make the "cool kids" catagory.
I hope you will always be full of life, no matter how the weather is.
I hope you eat a ton of chocolate and sleep for 23 hours straight( so I can laugh)
I wish you the best of luck dear friend.

Madeline,
I hope you will use every beautiful gift God has given you.
I hope that you will began to love yourself and other people the way God has loved you.
I hope that you meet a boy who can't stop thinking of you.
I hope you one day realize how wonderful you are.
I hope you never stop impersonating people.
I hope many opportunities come to you.
I hope you find new friends. And a community to become a part of.
I hope you are always amazed with how creative God works.
I hope you become close to everyone in your family.
I hope forgivness swallows you whole.
I hope you enjoy life.
I hope you take risks, even if you might regret them.
I hope that you will never stop believing.
I wish you the best of luck dear friend.

The boy,
I hope that you truly began to enjoy where you are and be fully present.
I hope you meet everyone you can. Young and old.
I hope that faith becomes so vital to you that you use it up more than oxygen.
I hope that you find yourself in a place where you cannot stop writing.
I hope that you meet people that you feel so connected to.
I hope that you really get to know God.
I hope you become a friend to the lonely.
I hope that you and your father become friends.
I hope that you do not find yourself living with regrets.
I hope that you never feel lonely again.
I hope you always search for God's will before yours.
I hope you find a church where you will learn how to love and serve like Jesus.
I hope you help people in need.
I hope that God reveals part of himself to you in unconventional ways.
I hope bitterness is replaced with grace.
I hope that you play music&sing till you're on your death bed.
I hope that you will find yourself grateful in any circumstances.
I hope that you and creativity become the best of friends.
I wish you the best of luck dear friend.



The others I will write about later.
Maybe.
Probably not.

Picz willz bez comingz shortlyz

It's
about
to
get
legit
in
this
blog
say
yes

A few words to describe my life lately:
Lonely. Different. Lame. Dull. Depressing. Selfish. Jealously. Missing others. Past-life livin'

These few months have been utterly lame. Iloveitwhenthathappensyayyyyyyyyyy


Really though.


There's a group of people.
They all are gorgeous.
They all made about a 27 on their ACT.
They all know what they want to do.
They all are friends.
They all have unique personalities.
They all are creative.
They all live in Nola.
They all have no flaws.

I tend to make up things in my mind. Lately, I've been obsessing with people's relationships with other people. That sounds creepy.
Explaining...Now. I have found that I have been constantly thinking of other people and their friendhips. It keeps playing in my mind. How they are such good friends. How they have such great memories together. How they are almost family. How they truly know one another.
And that is what I want. Friends will come and go. But, lately all they have been doing is going.
Today, I found out that's what I've been craving. Community. Love. Friends.
And I'm so jealous and curious when I see others have it.
I've never wanted friends so badly before. I never understood how awesome they are and how important they are.
Let, me clarify. I don't want just anyone. Yes, I sound stuck up ,but I don't mean it so. I want close friends where we have some common interest. I'm totally cool with having a limitless amount of aquaintances, but it's close friends that I want so badly.

Dear God,
Please send me a group of people-- a community. One that I can love and they can love me. One that I can create with. One that I can serve with. One that I can speak about you with. One that I can learn from. One that I can encourage and be encouraged. One that we can inspire one another. One that I can enjoy your beautiful creation with. And one that I can travel with. I want a home feel in my body.
Sincerly,
Joi.

You may have forgotton.

Blog spot
Blog spot
Blog spot
Blog spot!
How I miss thee!

Yay, I'm pumped about bloggin' again. Werd to your mother.


Warning:I have a feeling the blogs of the future won't warm your heart. So, everyone who doesn't read them...Cool
And the spell check does not work on this comp. Oh awesome.

O O to the Oregon!

I can’t even type how happy I am. I’ve been wanting to come here for a few years and I have finally entered the state. We’re not even in Portland yet, and I love it.
It’s so beautiful here. I’m so excited. It’s lovely, prettier than your favorite tooth.
I can’t stop grinning. Thank you God, you really are an amazing artist.

Pharoah, Pharoah

So, the drive from Illinois is the longest I’ve been in a car for. Me&A-dog were completely delirious and laughed at a specific topic for 15 minutes. My cheeks were hurting, I couldn’t breathe, and our stomachs were in pain. We kept talking about these crazy scenes with Jes in them. With. A. Jug. Of. Water. Stuck. On. Her. Head…. Perhaps it sounds lame, but it was one of the funniest imageries that has ever entered my mind. I’ve never laughed so hard for so long in all my life.

Cornerstone was super duper!

It was filled with the following: Laughter. New people. Cool spiders. Gothic tents. Raves. Similar stories that only church kids could possibly relate to. Hardcoreness. Boarder perspectives. No service. Hairy pits. Lost red Chile key. Staying up all night. Mr. Armand look alike. Vintage bikes. Much appreciated folk music. Much. More.
I really had a wonderful time. Yay!
For this whole summer I’ve just been a body, now there’s a soul. That is alive.
I could go through each person I met ,and say something nice. But, I kind of want to say something mean…. HAHAHAHA! Just joking.
I don’t really have anything to say….. Now I feel awkward. Bye….

Mr.Cooper

G
R
E
E
Tings

The keyboard feels like the beach. Ew.
We have passed through Iowa and currently in Nebraska.
While we were in Iowa, we saw one building that looked like it belonged in India and stopped at “Kum and Go”.
Also, Iowa is formally known as the state that crushes and ruins young teens college dreams. It is where standardize tests are created. Home of the devil.

Now in Nebraska, a deer ran across the road! Jes was centimeters from hitting this genius creature, known as a deer. We screamed, then laughed, then cried, and then had stomachaches from laughing too hard. The wind is very strong here.
And a woman in the gas station told me I looked tired.

“Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic zeros. Awesome song. We sat in a circle near a tent that gave us free ramen noodles. We sat with our new friends and tried to make musical sounds from the grass. Then we sang that song it was indeed a “good time”

And the adventure begins….

Earlier I was laying down, in a blue sleeping bag. As I was lying down I heard the wheels turning, turning, and turning. My thoughts were spinning with them. The wheels turned and my mind begins to go somewhere as well. I begin to think about all the possibilities that may take place on this trip, all the faces I may encounter, and I’ll the stories I will be able to tell.
The time is now.
The road trip has begun.
The good times are beginin’ to roll.


We’re on our way to a corn field in Bushnell, Illinois

Roadtrippin' time is near.

And I'm oh so very excited! I feel alive on these road trips.
Our first destination is Cornerstone festival in Il. Illionis is the epitome of corn fields, which means guaranteed fun right there :)
Oh, goodness I can't stop thinking about it!
I plan to blog a lot and tell you about my adventures.
Goodbye for now.

The photos are here

Here are some senior pictures! y a y

I feel sexy drinking water.

Yep, the title says it all.

Swimming in a sea of words.

Darn, I can't get my pictures to upload.
I really don't know why this is underlined.............Okay
I want it to stop.

But.
It.
Won't.
Great.

My black nail is nearly gone. Yay!
It stopped. Woo!

I took two of my friends' senior pictures. I'll post a few. They were easy to shoot. Both very fortunate looking.

Noet. Note to self: I'm done with dull blogs that contain skepticism! Yes=Yeahhh

She is not kissing the pillow, dufus. How do you even spell dufus?

Meet Lenny.

Hi you!

I'm about to paint and I can't stop listening to Givers. I keep dancing... Alone. Wouldn't you like to see.

So, everyday this week I have gone swim&read "A Year With Lewis." It's basically a different passage from all his work. And you read it daily! Oh yeah baby!

Rararara! I saw you first. BuM bUMbUM buooom.

Lalala, I'm happy. I ate steak with my popie!

Jes, is going to be a famous spoken word poet, her ideas are genius.

Janna, a farmer.

Life= summer time, beyond excited feelings about Portland roadtrip, anticipation, uncertainty, scrubs, water, freeish, single, backpacks, D700.

Every human: Do not everrrrrrr get plastic surgery! Unless it is a medical reason. If you lack self esteem, tell me. And I'll just butter you up, gorgeous person you are ;)

Ricki told me much about Portland I don't feel like typing. K, Bye

Haven't been me lately.

I would like to ask for help but, I fear that pride may have stepped into place. Although, lately I don't believe I have been prideful, just in a state of desperation.

My soul is becoming just part of my body. I don't feel like the two are separate, but only mixing at a rapid pace.

Have I even been living? I feel as if ever since August I have just been in is existence. Just there.

Especially from December to the present. I have not been me. I want God. To help me. And visit me with life soon.

Even though I may have been seeming to be fine, I can feel that I'm not. Stress&fear has taken that place of fun&life.

I will be okay.

It will be okay.

Being back to me, gives hope to my bones. My worn out bones.

I keep contradicting myself&not really making sense.

I was about to apologizing for venting. You don't have to hear my voice or even read this, therefore I don't think an apology is necessary. "You" might not even exist. By that I mean people reading my blog. I will stop explaining myself right about... Now.

:) :) :)

All smiles todayyyy!

I deactivated my facebook account(Yay me)

And I'm filling out the IC roadie app!!!! Woooop wooo :)

A boy.

He took off his shirt because he got mud on it.

Then, he jumped on a swing. And got a cut all across his stomach and chest.

Church.

"The perfect church service, would be one we were almost unaware of. Our attention would have been on God."

Church. Church. Church
You manage to contain such polar opposition.
I will speak about you as someone who has hurt me. Although, I know it was never you.
You have provided so many bad ideas of what it truly means to love God and God's love, But you have opened the doors for everyone to walk in and feel somewhat welcomed.
You have taught us all the stories of the Bible, yet we still have a hard time answering the simple questions of, "Why?" and "How?" Ex: "Why do you love God?","Why are you a Christian?"," How do you know God exist?"
You are responsible for the kids who grew up in you and act judgmental to the man that doesn't look like them, smell like them, use the same vocabulary as them, or believe the same as them. They will miss out on beautiful opportunities to learn and realized that they don't know everything and they simply do not "have it all together."
Bravo, you have taught people from a very early age how to smile when they hate the person they are grinning to. You have taught them how to very strategically speak with such envy and malice words, but don't stress because they will never say it to their face so no harm will take place.
When someone is honest about how they feel they will quickly be labeled, rude, or a whore.
They will raise their hands to God, and screw each other before 10 o'clock. They will go to sleep early and look well represented the next day. So no need to be concerned. They will smoke a jane before the service takes place, and then either laugh or pray for the new girl who is stoned.
However, you have allowed a great presence to enter you, when we are far from deserving it.
I probably shouldn't post this.
Pray that the skepticism leaves my mind, bones, and Spirit

Write right. Write wrong. Just as long as you write.

I have much I want to talk about but I don't know where to begin.... So, I will think.

Why are humans so prone to negativity? I don't quite understand anymore. I know that I sound like I'm always ranting about my life but life has been going good for me.
If these things happen again I will react in a manner that is not socially accepted:
1. If someone tells me that if I take a semester off I will not go to college.
2. If someone says, "Wow..." after I say I have not heard of something or don't know what they're talking about.
3. If a conversation always goes back to you.
4. Another sermon about "purity"

She claimed to have my back but, my dear friend you just wanted to go behind my back and take what was important to me. No worries because I don't have one doubt that one of your fake friends will comfort you and justify what you did. Don't say you love me and lie about me. Not for my sake but only because I don't want someone else to simply a misconception of what love is. I am speaking to me so, don't you jump to your insecure conclusions lil lassie

It's been too long.

I'm like a book way overdue.

I will think of some exciting news to say. However some of it might not be true. Life has been a bore.

Oh family vacation with strangers... That was an interesting week.

I don't remember you lookin' any better.

"Hi! Hi! Hiya!"( Heavy weights aka best movie in the whole wide world!)

So, Mardi Gras is coming up. If you are unaware of what this strange holiday is I'll explain. It is a holiday celebrated only in Louisiana.

It pretty much just consist of the following:

1. Creepy masks normally worn by ladies over the age of 37

2. Purple, green, and yellow(Terrible colors to put together)

3. Beer, beer, and more beer.

4. Parades.

5. Ugly beads.

6. And if you are in Nola, Boobs and lots of nakedness and other odd and very weird things.

I've actually never been there for Mardi Gras, however, I do want to go one year just to experience the crazy drama that takes place. I've heard it is madly insane.

Anyways, there is this girl who asked me to go skiing for Mardi Gras break which means I leave this Friday to head up to BR and we leave on Saturday and come back next Saturday. After realizing that I've never met her family or anyone who is coming. I said yes.

This ought to be very interesting. Nothin' like going on family vacation with a family that isn't yours....Or have never met. Hahah!

Bam! Weird experiences always seem to be knocking on my door, and don't you dare think I hesitate to let them in. I open with arms opened wide and a smile.... Yay for abnormalness!

Anne got on new medicine. Her stomach was basically created in hell. The medicine is natural (I'm convinced it's weed in a pill form)

Walking in to Chemistry... Me: "Anne, where were you?"

Anne: "I just jumped outside the window!"

Me: "Haha! Why did you do that?"

Anne: "It just looked so wide open and free! So, I jumped!"

The Saints won the superbowl, which equals Louisiana going even crazier than we already are.

I dropped off Madeline and had the urge to start screaming "Who dat?!". So, as I was driving I first saw an old couple walk out of Pelicans, I screamed at them, these two wiggas and these two little boys in Saints jerseys. Then me and Nicholas came to the conclusion that it's like a dare when you scream and act crazy with your friends, but when you are alone it's just stupidity. Hahahah! It was so fun I couldn't help myself.

After we won my little sister, Ja'el ran and jumped inside a pool, and it was pretty cold outside.

Then my dad started dancing which was so entertaining. He even did the stanky leg. Oh boy!

Juliane's twisted nursery rhymes.

What Juliane's kids will hear when their falling asleep. Her Version.

This little piggy went the market

This little piggy went home

This little piggy was captured a turned into bacon so that people like you could eat it and people like me could stare in disgust!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water

Jack told Jill that he would never buy her a andeconda so she pushed him in and got his inheritance

Baa baa black sheep have ye any wool

Yes sir yes sir three bags full

One for the master,

And one for the dame,

And one for the little boy

who plans to kill me and sell my liver on the black market

Hush, little baby, don't say a word

Mama's gonna buy you a mockin'bird

If that mockin'bird don't sing

Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring

So that the billy goat can have many a baby and create an army and take over the world

Meeeediiiiaaa

So, some Mexican man stole my mom's card earlier this week.

Walk in the kitchen and Bam! An unfamiliar cop chillin' there. Oddity truly exist.

"What a jerk." _ Jill Mahoney

You and ya cousins and me and my cousins.

I can feel is comin'

Warning: Don't waste any time of your life watching "My life as Liz. " Totally sucks. Which is strange because I'm a sucker for shows/movies about high school kids. But it's supposed to be "reality" and all of them act. And are terrible at it too. It sucks.

But, the Buried Life is oh so fantastic! I think I'll marry all four of those boys. I lie first I'll convert to Mormonism. Polygamy life is the life for me. Ew, I'm so gross.

I smashed my own bird(Middle finger) in the car door:( Now, I look like a carpenter named Mike who wants to marry four guys from tv. Greaaaatttttt

You should go buy a sweater & eye cream... Just saying.

"Man! I just shaved my leg, and there's a whole section that's hairy. What? no." _Julie.

Animals.

Super rad animals! I want to be an animal right now. So, I guess the picture will suffice.

Whale sharks=Awesome
Hah, this one is kinda funny...

Cool, cool

Idk....

I want one! <3

Maybe? Yes.

One day soon I will write a short story! And will post it on here :)

I'm excited about it! It will be about kids.... Church kids.

And most of the time church kids= Different kind of kids compared to the norm.

Ehhh...

I have been longing to get in my car and drive, drive, drive. Drive until I see places I didn't know exist. I would like to meet new people with brand new perspectives. As cliche' as I may sound, I'm ready to leave this town. I'm tired of the same routine, and the same people. Identical. Who always manage to do the same thing over and over again. I feel as if all originality is lost here. I don't really know what else to say.... I've said that line about 50 times this week. It's about time that I do know what I need to say. Ahhh I'm annoyed right now. And I'm completely aware on how immature I sound, However this apathy is growing and I don't seem to mind it's growth.

:/ Sorry for the venting session.

Computer, you are truly a great listener.

I suppose

I could tell you about my weekend. But, I'm not really in the mood to write.

The only things on my mind is how I don't want to study. Oh, and how I'm a crazy women when it comes to commiting to things.. All things... Everything.

drop it low

Seesters

Omg!

Beaver scouts!

Let me tell you about Beaver Scouts!

Okay, so one day in Bio 2 me and my fellow classmates were talking about boy scouts. We quickly came to the conclusion of starting our own, known as "beaver scouts"! The only clubs we have at school is 4H and Beta club. Why not have beaver scouts? We had it set, we were going to learn how to build a fire out of nothing, tie knots, bird call, and how to live in the wild, etc... We were working on our pledge, and we even had a hand signal/ shake.

Our posters:

1. Find the inner beaver in you! Join Beaver Scouts.

2. Lion may roar, and birds can soar but beavers make things.... Awesome things.

3. Beaver believer.

We put our amazing posters all over school. It was a riot for sure!

One of my teachers, said "Beaver? Scouts...."

I said, "Yep.

He goes, " Hah! Y'all are so naive!"

I said, "Okay?"

The dean of our school called Anne(The co founder) into the hall, she asked what "this Beaver Scout thing was about"... She told her we had to take them down, because one of our teacher said it was inappropriate... Something lame like that.

We were disappointed to say the least.

Later that day, someone informed me that beaver is another word for a female genitals...

Ignorance is bliss

Long live beaver scouts!

Werd Yerd

I've been bored with life lately. Shocker.... Who would have thought a small town where I'm related to the majority of the town could possess boredom?

Things I googled on Monday night:

1. Music therapy.

2. How to tune a guitar( I don't know how to play)

3. People of Walmart (disappointment)

4. Men with unusually large foreheads.

5. Top 100 indie songs.

I would not recommend any of these searches.

"We're Americans we don't plan, we do!" The hah quote.

Question of the day: How does every single person who has ever been on the Disney channel turns into a singer? coincidence? perhaps.

This question keeps me up at night. Please answer and fill me in.

So, it would appear that everyone is getting blogs. Yay! Competition to be the coolest and the most creative? I would believe so.

Mom, why are the 3 xmas trees still up?

I'm listening to " Set the Fire To the Third Bar" by Snow Patrol featuring Martha Wainwright. I think I'm on my 17 round. It's great

Terribly sad news: I missed the Lil Wayne concert. Yes, you may go get a kleenex to cry into.